For me and my partner
In romantic relationships too, there are many variations beyond the norm of a heterosexual couple in a monogamous relationship, there are couples in non-monogamous relationships or in open relationships, or in polyamorous relationships.
They may be couples who are part of the swinging, BDSM and kink scenes or couples who enjoy threesomes, casual hook up’s, sex parties, cross-dressing or fetish play. They may be asexual, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian or without a neat sexual identity label. They may be female, male, cis, trans, non-binary or gender queer in their gender identity.
Relationships are as wonderfully varied as the people in them and each variation brings its own challenges.
We all have a tendency to reproduce our miseries with extraordinary consistency. In love relations, we approach each new relationship as the antidote to the problems of the last one, and, with daunting regularity, each new relationship turns out to be a new version of the old one(s). This is sometimes attributed to the uncanniness of the unconscious in locating childhood oedipal objects.
My role as a relationship therapist is to facilitate a more honest, more explicit, more connected conversation between the people involved. I am not invested in whether people stay together or separate, change or repeat the same patterns. That part is entirely up to the people in the relationship. What I am invested in is offering feedback about the dynamic between the couple, helping people notice and then address, unhelpful communication styles and ways of relating to each other.