Welcome Valentine’s Day
Happy Couples have intentional rituals. Why don’t start with you?
Finding and keeping love is a serious business. I think is the most important human project.
Nowadays celebrating Valentine’s Day sounds like a commercial strategy for new couples. The beginning of a relationship is exciting and Valentine’s Day is often viewed as an extension of what two people feel for one another. For a new couple coming up to Valentine’s Day, it can be a confusing time but spending Valentine’s Day together is more important than anything because is the first ritual the couple can experiment.
When couples are falling in love, they are experts at creating rituals. After they marry or some years later altogether, they often lose their touch.
Happy stable couples have rituals that define their relationship and give meaning to who they are together. They participate in things that let them feel close as a couple.
Couple rituals can take many forms, including spending 15 minutes together discussing their day at the kitchen table, Friday night dates, special birthday celebrations, or even going up to bed together. These rituals can include going to religious services together, making time to discuss books or magazine articles, or going dancing.
The form a couple ritual takes can be almost anything, as long as it is repeated and enjoyed by both members of the couple.
Finding a moment to take for the relationship may seem self-indulgent, and that is exactly as it should be.
Couples need to recognise the importance of taking care of their relationship first so, time for each other needs to become a priority.
A few minutes of intimate conversation, a quiet meal together, a shower together, or a regular evening to snuggle on the couch watching a drama or comedy on TV will remind the couple of the reasons they stay together in the first place.
Relationships do not maintain themselves and tend to fall quickly to the forces of entropy if not nurtured. Only becoming intentional, doing things for a purpose, in the relationship will counter this natural tendency to become complacent. Men and women need to recognise this and put in place regular rituals that maintain and refuel the relationship.
How a couple celebrated birthdays, major holidays, and anniversaries is also important. Happy and stable couples have created defined and consistent rituals for important days. Why don’t start with Valentine’s date?